When I look at art that I enjoy, it’s not necessarily the faithful renderings of accurately painted subjects that I am drawn to despite that being the area I’ve worked in myself. It is the more expressive paintings, something with a magical, other worldly quality to it that I love. Don’t get me wrong, I am still in awe of highly detailed pieces. I get drawn into and lost in those tiny brush strokes but it is the big, chunky, loose, juicy, colourful strokes that portray a subject and more importantly an atmosphere or a feeling with more freedom, that truly enthral me.
I have lived for so long in those tiny details that it’s hard for me to let go of that control but I’m working on it. Over the last few months I’ve had the opportunity to play without pressure, and it’s opened my heart to my own creativity again. I’ve made brave decisions to say no to work that pulls me back into old patterns and formulaic ways of working. In that open space I’ve discovered the things that bring me joy in my own work but it’s so very different to everything I’ve done before and what people have come to expect from me that I know it won’t appeal to everyone. I can’t go back now though, or rather I choose not to. A door has been opened for me to access my divine inspiration and I’ve found that when I get out of my own way and let it come through, that’s when I feel that it becomes more of a calling than work for me.
What I really want to do now is to show you what is inside. So as I pour out my truth what you see from me in future may not be as highly detailed as previous work but it is so much more than its aesthetics. Each painting is entirely unique and there will never be another the same. I start only with the intention to let my higher self be active and expressive in the painting. At first it comes through raw and chaotic, without a plan yet bursting with potential and potency. Then I spend time looking at it from all angles, softening my gaze, listening, watching and waiting for something or someone to present themselves, not trying to push it one way or the other. Sometimes there’s conflict between more than one entity. Who will win through? Is there room for both to have their say? It’s my job then to bring them out so they can share their message with you and that message will be different for each viewer. What my paintings say to one, may be entirely different from what they say to another and for some they may say nothing at all. That’s ok.
As I trust the process more, it will evolve and I’m willing to let it carry me on this new adventure. This is only the beginning of this particular stretch of my creative journey but I’m not a novice, my journey started long ago and it’s my previous experience that has laid the foundations for this new work. To my core I am and always have been an artist.